Have you ever woken up in the middle of a relationship and wondered how you got there? Do you tend to date the same type of person over and over but never really seem to reach that level of happiness that you deserve? When you are unsure of what you want, and this goes for anything (career, life purpose, relationships etc.), you're probably not going to get it. Isn't it strange that we spend more time writing things on our grocery list than listing the things that could give our lives more meaning? Some may say making lists is clinical, but there's a lot to be said for putting your ideas down on paper. By changing the thoughts and emotions that go around in your head into concrete words on paper, you can really begin to focus on what it is you want and need out of life.
We talked to a former client recently who is now engaged. Before meeting her fiance, she wrote down a list of all the characteristics her ideal mate would have. After the engagement, she found the piece of paper again, and guess what? Her fiance fit the bill. She knew what she was looking for, which helped her attract the right man, and recognize him when he walked into her life.
What Do You Want Out of a Relationship?
Start by writing down in complete detail, what your ultimate love relationship would look like. Don't be afraid to write whatever comes to mind, even if it seems idyllic or impossible.
Keep in mind that knowing what you want and recognizing whether you have it or not should not be confused with trying to mold other people into what you want only. Relationships are
of course about compromise, so write down what is REALLY important to you on a fundamental level, in terms of what will make you a better person and help you bring joy to someone else's life as well.
Some key areas to consider might be:
1. Communication: How do you want you and your partner to communicate? How important is it that you share your feelings and they share theirs on a consistent basis?
2. Trust: How do you envision the trust between the two of you; in your perfect relationship is there any room for jealousy or trust issues?
3. Family: What are your values when it comes to family? Do you want to have children? Do you need someone who welcomes your children if you already have them? Is spending
time with yours and your potential partner's family important?
4. Lifestyle: How do you see your life? Do you want a partner who likes to travel, or do you want a partner who is a homebody? What are your favourite things to do that you'd like to share with someone?
5. Career/Financial: How important is your career to you? Do you need someone who supports and shares your ambition? Is it important for your partner to earn a certain amount of money?
6. Intimacy/Affection: How much affection and what level of intimacy do you want your relationship to have?
We often don't set enough boundaries for ourselves when it comes to relationships. Sometimes we are just so happy not to be alone, that we put up with or go along with things that don't make us feel good. Think about your last serious relationship. How far from your perfect relationship list was it? Were there things you wish you had not gone along with in hindsight? The key is to know yourself, and to know what you want. It's not selfish to ask for these things, in fact it's a lot more irresponsible to enter into a relationship without having any idea what you want from it.
men want and need straightforward, courageous communication without anger or criticism. One way to attract a great man and build a satisfying relationship is to learn how to communicate your truth and needs effectively.
Many women treat men in ways that diminish their egos, making them feel inadequate. Men would rather have more praise, more acknowledgment of what they do right, more acknowledgment that they are great guys who are loved and appreciated.
Women think men do not need them, do not value their opinion, their support, their praise. Women also think men do not care about many things important to women, which is why they criticize. Criticism is a way to verbalize resentment. A tip for women
Most men want acknowledgment and appreciation from women. Learning to acknowledge instead of making your partner wrong is one of the most powerful relationship survival tools available to you. Now that you know what men want, what about what you want? The desire to love and be loved is the most basic human need. You you realize how deeply God loves you? You are a human being who is loved by God. You are intelligent, beautiful, loved, and not alone. Take a minute to think about that God loves you, and not because of what you do. He loves you for who you are and will never leave you because of anything youve done. Isnt that just the kind of love youve always dreamed about?
You might not think of yourself as exceptional, but you are. You are a hand-crafted original. God made you on purpose, no accidents of fate or chance. The Bible says that when God created man and woman He saw everything that He had made, indeed it was very good. (Genesis 1:31) God created you and He is interested in the details of your life. The Bible tells us that Gods knows each of us better than we know ourselves he even knows how many hairs are on your head! (Matthew 10:30)
Its pretty incredible to think about. The same God who created the stars and turns the colors of the leaves in Fall, created you. You are His masterpiece and He loves you. God created you to have a relationship with Him.
I am in a relationship with the guy of my dreams but the problem is that he has trust issues. We are always fighting about useless things such why are u going 2 school 2 study @ night,why do u want 2 ststudy with your friends.I cant even go out with my friends n if I do he would say Im dating someone n Im cheating on him. When his angry he swears @ me n even say words that breaks me down into tears. I truly love him n dnt wnt 2 lose him bt I think m gonna let hm go because Im tired of fighting
At the end of the day, all “good” people, be it men or women, want is to be loved, respected & cherished, of course there are those men & women who cheat, manipulate & hurt others but one should NOT generalize about ALL men or ALL women because of bad choices & bad experiences one may have had, one will only hurt oneself by harboring such negative feelings about everyone of the opposite sex, & thereby minimize their chances of meeting their Mr Right or Ms Right
If you simply have not found someone that was the best FIT for you (not literally you, just saying in general for anyone)… Then accept that its your own fault for staying/living with someone you did not trust, for dating or marrying someone you did not take the time to get to know properly, or for befriending or making a spouse out of someone that did not fit the qualities that you really were looking for to begin with, and in the end, its your own fault for not taking out the time in life to get to know yourself enough to know what to look for in order to find that “Best Fit”. SO dont blame other people, blame yourself, get over your past, and keep an open mind for the future or you will never be the individual you THINK you are, and thus, never ever find another WHOLE individual to fill that void.
I always tell people that just because someone is a good catch does not make them a good fit for you and it always holds true
I’d just like to add that though good men desire independent & confident women that doesn’t necessarily mean that only “professional women” are it, no, I’m sure many good men appreciate the fact that being a housewife & raising a family & DOING IT WELL is not less than any other “profession”; so just as there’s nothing wrong with a confident woman pursuing her career, there’s nothing wrong with a woman choosing to raise a family either & that IS just as repectable & noble a “profession” in itself; at the end of the day, a confident woman is one that makes her own decisions based on her own right convictions rather than allowing societal pressures to dictate whether she works or chooses to raise a family
If you are considering beginning a relationship with someone, there are several things you should consider first. Having strong feelings and caring for someone are not the only things you need to be ready for a relationship.
Your mental health and your individual happiness should be sound before you consider sharing your life with another person. It will be impossible for your significant other to make you happy if you don't know how to make yourself happy. Do real things for yourself. Have hobbies, interests and at least a few strong friendships. Feeling secure in life as an independent person before pursuing a relationship makes for a stronger union.
You are ready for a relationship if you can be completely selfless and thoughtful towards someone else. If you are still working on figuring out who you are and what you want in the grand scheme of things, entering into a partnership may be selfish. Your significant other may feel that you are not giving yourself wholly to the relationship and that you don't completely belong to him - and he's right.
If you are used to going out all the time, find a happy medium between hitting the town and sitting on the couch before you enter a relationship, so that a new boyfriend or girlfriend doesn't get tired of your hard partying ways.
You need to understand and accept the reasons past relationships or friendships didn't work out. If you can learn from past mistakes and not repeat those errors in judgment, you are paving the way to a more successful relationship. You must come to terms with old disappointments and heartbreaks before you are able to commit yourself completely to someone new.+
What Do You Want from a Relationship?
Most people assume that everyone wants the same thing out of a relationship. In reality, there are a variety of things people wish to get out of being with someone else. You should probably have a basic idea of what you personally want out of a relationship before you enter into a union.
When you enter into a relationship, however, what you want may change. For instance you may end up wanting more than just a person there to have fun with. As you grow and learn more about each other, you may want that person for security, for strength or for personal guidance. The only way to figure out what you want is to evaluate the other aspects of your life and discover what is missing.
In order for your significant other to be those things for you, you must be what they want and need in return. Don't be afraid to ask for what you want from your partner, but don't ask for it all; this can cause strain in your relationship. You must to be able to get what you want on your own, with that other person there to give you just that little extra bit of support when you need it.
What If You Decide You Don't Want a Relationship?
If your significant other can't give you what you want, you may realize that the relationship isn't right for you. If you find yourself being harder to please or unhappy with personal things that don't necessarily pertain to your relationship, such as a career, you may want to take time apart to rediscover yourself and the things that are most important to you.
If this happens, explain this to your partner. Hopefully he can appreciate your honesty, and if he really cares about you, he will understand your need to achieve personal goals that may not include him.
Relationships are great and can make for some of the happiest moments in your life. Figuring out if you are ready for one and what you want out of one are important for your partnership. In doing so, you will create a foundation for a strong and lasting bond between you and someone special.
great topic, however the way I see it, if there is no great sex, you cannot build any relationship. Even if sex will fade away with time, you will still have memories of those sparks flying that will keep you close for a long period of time.